I don't know what to do. I've been here more times than I can imagine, or care to remember. The minutes, the hours, they're a prison, a prison filled with torture. You're on my mind more than I want you to be. I wish I could forget, but I was never very good at that. I wonder if you think of me too, or if you're another person who just tosses me aside like a piece of trash.
I don't know what to do. I go through the day, trying to do fill my time with something, so I don't feel. I want to talk to friends, but they have their own lives. Not many people know what happened, or what I'm going through. I feel empty, worthless.
I don't know what to do. Songs play in my head, songs that used to bring me joy, but now just invoke solitude, loneliness, sadness. Things that used to make me happy, make me smile, they bring me nothing right now. Things that you brought into my life, are now like a weapon against my soul, what's left of it.
Solitude, that's what I feel. I want to shout out to everyone what happened, but then I wouldn't be a decent man. I wish I knew why, if there is a God, why he would allow me to feel what I did for you, when you apparently now would never feel for me.
There is another, but she is too far away. I want to hold her, talk to her face to face. Maybe then I wouldn't feel this anymore, maybe I could move on quickly. But I also feel guilty, even though she knows, and has known since the beginning. She's been through her own hell as well, her own trials, her own prison, similar to mine. I know she feels very much the same as I do. But she's not here, close enough for me to drive over and just hold her.
Solitude, it's all there apparently is. I grow old and tired of it. I don't want it. The only solution that comes to mind is one that, in the past, was not allowed to me by fate, and now, I'm held back from out of fear, and out of uncertainty.
I don't know what to do....